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Two Questions That Can Change Your Life for the Better

Two questions that can help deter self limiting thoughts and beliefs that hold us back from a joyful, stressless life.

Do you ever feel trapped?  Do you ever wonder why the change you want never seems to make it's way to you in a long lasting way?  Does a "supposed to" thought process exist in your world?  I am not referring to manners that we are "supposed to" do or right vs. wrong when it comes to treating people or ourselves well.  "Supposed to's" should exist where good manners are concerned, for example.   


I ask these questions because of limitations people place on themselves.  Limitations that confine a person to a mundane, painful, stressful, unhealthy, and scarce life.  I know we all can't win the lottery for instant financial success.  What we can do is start recognizing, believing and acting the truth of the old clichés, "I am the captain of my ship" and "I create my own destiny."  We are stuck because we create the circumstances that keep us stuck.  I've mentioned in a previous post on my blog, http://callingtherealyou.blogspot.com, that we are our the creator of our problems which means we are our only solution.  It takes personal responsibility and personal accountability to make first, the decision, to want to live a happy, healthy, effortless and free life.  It takes tremendous courage, discipline and faith to take the necessary steps to live the life your inner core is screaming for.  This can be applied to someone who suffers from migraines and treats them with prescriptions instead of finding and addressing the root emotional cause, to a person who chooses to live with an abusive spouse, or to a sales professional who is in a funk and instead of looking to themselves for the solution gets caught up in a blame game.  

Maybe this is my answer to the above questions.  So a new question comes to the surface.  Do people lack the courage, discipline and faith to make changes and face the paralyzing fears that have prevented them from living a life that is true to their core?  If so, how do we get these key ingredients?  I can tell you it is not from external elements.  Although having someone in your corner who believes in you is most helpful.  It takes real honesty with your inner core you and not the superficial honesty.  You know what I mean, not the honesty that glazes over the truth and partially blames others or the circumstances.  Take a good hard look at everything that has brought you to the point of auto pilot.  Take a hard look at the environment surrounding you currently,  the shame you may feel, the fear of others finding out your skeletons, etc.  This process takes time, patience and most importantly practice.  You have developed your self defense mechanisms and way of operating for how many years now?  You have judged yourself and others for how long?  

Before I continue I want to be clear.  Someone who has a job vs. a career can be blissful and healthy.  Someone who is in a volatile or dead end relationship, career, etc. can learn to steer their life while a business professional that is finding it increasingly difficult to develop business, can turn things around.   It takes hard work, especially in the beginning.  The truth is however, it takes less effort to live a free, blissful and abundant life than it does to remain where you are right now.  We are victims of systems and the human way of doing business and living our lives.  Every day we hand over our decision making to someone or something else.  We allow others to dictate our worth and eventually our needs.  In the beginning, it isn't our fault because we are conditioned to do so.  We are taught to conform without question.  We don't know any better.  The institutions that we belong to keep this mentality status quo because it suits their purpose.  It becomes our fault, however, when we learn this truth and do nothing about it.  

Personally, I had had enough.  I was a prisoner of my fears and limiting beliefs.  This post comes from my living on the other side.  I know where I came from and what I went through to break free.  I continue to practice living and believing in my life's purpose according to my inner core.  It is so much easier than how I used to live.  Please know, on the outside looking in, my life appeared to be perfect.  All of my physical and materialistic needs were met.  I was provided opportunities to have a "good life."  I had everything and anything I could possibly imagine available to me.  Access to great schools and affluent families and activities were abundant.  So what was the problem?  I was taught not to trust in my own instincts, how to give someone else authority over my life, resulting in a feeling of unworthiness.  This is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg and something for another post.  Suffice it to say that I reconnected with who I am which is very similar to who you are I bet.  I am going out on a limb here, but I believe we all want acceptance, love, respect, to live a happy, healthy and uncomplicated lives.  I believe we not only want these things, but that we are born with the divine right to have them.  Our human traits, such as, greed, fear, desire for control and power have taken us so far off course.  We have lost our way so deeply.  It is time to get back to basics.  It is time to realign ourselves with our inner core.  It is time to be free of the old way of doing things.  So where do we begin?
Believe it or not you already began to change and your attraction to this post is proof.  You've been thinking or feeling for a long while now that things just aren't right or that something has to give.You are correct and here are two questions that can help you get unstuck and change your life for the better.When you begin to experience a doubtful, negative, limiting thought ask yourself the following:

  1. How do I know that?
  2. Is this true?


When you ask yourself "how do I know that?" and come up with "my parents told me" or "my friends" or "my ex-wife",  or "just because" etc.  All this means is that you received information about you according to their world.  You are not the main character in their life nor in anyone's life for that matter.  The only main character you play, is in your own life, and that's YOU.  YOU are the only one, from moment to moment who can say, "my story will not end like this today."  When we begin to see that other's views of you is nothing more than a judgment based on that persons world that is not yours, we can begin to see the ridiculousness of living by another's expectations and authority.
When derogatory comments are made by others or when we put ourselves down we can ask "is this true?"  "You're an idiot", "you're worthless", …..are painful and scary thoughts.  Are they true?  Last time I checked no one intentionally wakes up and states, "today, I am going to be an idiot" and therefore will ruin some else's day as a result.  Whatever the chatter or judgment, in my experience, I have never heard them say yes these painful and hurtful comments are true.  It is a simple act to ask ourselves these questions.  When we remember to ask them in the middle of a routine we have practiced for so long it opens our consciousness to the truth of who we really are.  Once this begins, then our course is set for living an effortless, happy and abundant life.  There is no more space for fear and scarcity.  Only personal accountability, personal responsibility and personal/professional success is the result.  We can begin to RELAX. RELEASE. and RECEIVE our divine rights.  The need for arrogance and gimmicks no longer exist.  Radical transparency takes over, healing begins and abundance is the result. 

All my best,

Pamela

thomas September 18, 2012 at 04:00 pm
stay away from sin, not only your words and actions, but your mindset. this is a vile race of people , most take the easy way out the beasty way, instead being the image of our creator,. spirituality is work, religion is toiling, the latter I AVOID, our character is paramount not our temporary skills or talents, i doubt there will be doctors, lawyers, janitors in New Jerusalem, maybe artisians.i have very little competition in this realm, thank you for your insight.
Flowers September 19, 2012 at 10:16 pm
Where am I?
Are those things feathers?
Paul Kischkum September 20, 2012 at 11:40 am
Understanding our instincts will better help us understand how to use them, the feelings in our "gut" are a natural reaction we are born with.
When something seems too "big", breaking it down into small parts may help find the way through, over or around it; fight or flight instincts won't overwelm you when it doesn't look imposibble, at least in your mind's eye. Just the word "fear" can cause reaction, but as much as it can get in the way, it can also be our best friend, it helps us stay out of the wrong situations...knowing the difference is key. Teaching makes a better student, on both sides of the equation, never stop learning, it's a joy not a curse. I enjoy hearing other's thoughts, thankful for the opportunity to share, hope to here more on the subject from others, have a good day.
Paul Kischkum September 20, 2012 at 10:50 pm
I talked of fears, because it pertained to the subject of stopping one's self due to gut reaction, but I would like to also mention the "good" gut reaction. This is the one that makes you feel goodness, empathy and a sense of well being inside as you practice well being twords others, or them twords you. You are born with this also, and although it can be through out your body, it mostly resides in peoples middles, their abdomen area; their "gut" area and is released into your system by the brain triggered by such actions as stated above. Your feelings can help you sense the world around you as long as you are precieving true signals of what is in front of you or around you. Along with analizing the situation with the mind seperate of these emotions, we can determine colectively thereafter of what we wish to do. Just giving a fair shake to the good gut feeling we have naturally within us too. :)
Paul Kischkum September 21, 2012 at 01:53 am
By the way, to follow up, these are all actions of the chemistry within our body and mind. They used to be studied from an external form of awareness but now have been studied and identified specifically through modern technology so when they say "it resides primarally in the gut" they mean that's where it is located in high concentration, this chemistry of your body you were born with. Exciting stuff to know you were really feeling it for a reason, what is or was there doing it, and how and why it is or was happening can be empowering knowledge to help understand the triggers, and that can help you see a clearer picture of what you will and won't let have an effect on your life and well being. Taking some of the mystery out of it keeps the confussion minimal so we can learn from our mistakes, not keep making them. That's what learning is all about isn't it?...understanding. :)
Pamela Horton November 6, 2012 at 01:50 pm
Hi Thomas,
Thank you for your comment and you are welcome! Some are still soul sleeping not realizing their full potential, not truly putting two and two together...that we are made in our creators image, therefore we too are creators.
Pamela Horton November 6, 2012 at 01:52 pm
Hi Colleen,
YES! I couldn't agree more with you. Thank you for your comment. You speak the truth. Silence, reflection and instinct all are powerful and help us align with the truth of who we are so that we can live an abundant, healthy, wise and effortless life. It takes practice getting there though! Pamela
Pamela Horton November 6, 2012 at 01:52 pm
LOL, Hi Flowers.
Not quite sure what you mean, but I like the whimsy. Pamela
Pamela Horton November 6, 2012 at 01:56 pm
Hi Paul,
Thank you for your comments here and on my other posts related to MMA. We seem to think similarly. An issue is that as a society we are taught to value things that keep us from our instincts and truth of who we are. We are taught how to read, write, math etc. which are all valuable, albeit we have work here too, but we are not taught how to value and trust ourselves. My hope is that we awaken from our soul's sleep and recognize the power from within. Pamela
Pamela Horton November 6, 2012 at 01:57 pm
Our brains hate to be wrong, so what ever we tell our mind, that is what comes to fruition. Fear and faith can not reside together. It is a choice that needs to be cultivated and a kindness/compassion must be the first piece of the puzzle.
Pamela Horton November 6, 2012 at 02:02 pm
Again, thank YOU for taking the time to comment and share your thoughts. Our bodies store traumatic events within our fiber, muscle and fascia which makes us react to a situation relative to flight or fight. This "chemistry" rather physical reaction is what blocks us from addressing a given situation with rational thought. When we learn the value of centering ourselves, actually practice mindfulness, we can face the thing that causes panic and fear with success and each time we do so the stronger more confident we become.
All my best, Pamela

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