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Community Corner

Kids and Cellphones - a Good Idea or a Bad Idea?

Local moms were asked about their kids' cellphone privileges and usage.

The topic this week on MomsTalk is kids and cellphones. Our Patch Moms Council and other local moms were asked the question, should kids have cell phones, at what age, and should they have features and usage limited?

Security, safety and convenience are the main reasons parents allow their kids to have cell phones. The days of having enough dimes for the pay phone are long gone and with cell reception the way it is, today’s kids have no excuse as to why they didn’t call mom. And if they forget, they can be tracked by the GPS that is on the phone!

All of our moms said kids should have a cell phone in order to keep in touch with parents. After-school activities and sports were the big reason why moms felt it necessary to allow them. The age allowed ranged from 12 to 16, which is quite a span. The responses regarding features and usage brought some differing of opinions.

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While phones are a great security for parents, teens everywhere are not just using their phones to talk - as a matter of fact talking is one of the least things they do. Texting, web browsing, photos and video games are some of the things they can do. Cell phones have become portable computers. Some of the not so good things kids are doing on cell phones are sexting (sending sexually explicit messages and photos), excessive surfing the Web, playing games and MP3s, harassing each other (cyber bullying), texting while driving, texting in class and in some instances, cheating on tests.

The level of features our moms’ kids have on their phones ranged from a pre-paid Tracfone to iPhones. Some of our moms limited the type of phone but not the amount of texting. All have unlimited texting.

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Tammy is pretty sure her 22 year old daughter is addicted to her cell phone. Her latest bill showed 15,000 text messages!

Donna’s three children got their cell phones around age 13 to 16. Their phones have multiple options.

“Kids do not feel it is enough to have just the basic functions,” said Donna. “I am not surprised by the number of texts these kids accumulate in a month. This is how they communicate.”  

Mom’s Council member Amy has small children and hopes she will stick to her belief of no cell phone until high school because she has seen quite a bit as a middle school teacher. Amy says cell phones cause a lot of distraction and she has seen sexual encounters at that age aided by technology.

“I know you can limit minutes and texts, which is a good thing, but kids are very tech savvy, even more so than their parents so kids know what they’re doing with the phones and how to get around certain things,” she said.

Mom’s Council member Barbra has two teen daughters ages 13 and 15 and feels kids lack the social skills needed at their ages because of texting. Her daughter has been cyber bullied and Barbra feels there really is no way of stopping it.

“Kids will say mean things in a text they would never have the ‘goods’ to say to someone’s face,” she said.     

Nikki’s kids shared one phone while in elementary school and used it when over friends’ houses. By middle school, they were given a phone of their own. 

“I really have a need to know where my kids are at all times,” she said. “If they are not going to be where they say they are going to be, they have to call or text me.”

Once her kids are in high school they can have an iPhone but have to buy the phone and pay for the data plan. This helps them learn how to manage their minutes and money.

Kathy likes the peace of mind cell phones bring, but with that they also bring a whole world of problems.

“Communication today isn’t like it was when we were kids,” she says. “As parents, we have a job to do keeping up with technology and making sure our children are educated about some of the inherent risks.”

Educating children on cell phone etiquette and dangers is a must according to experts. The real question parents must ask themselves is whether their child is mature enough to handle it. At what age does that maturity happen? A poll was conducted at About.com asking what age should a kid get his/her first cell phone. Of the over 7,000 people asked, 26 percent said 10-11 years old and 25 percent said 12-13 years old. Eighteen percent said 14-16 years old.

It is sometimes easier to know what a child does on the home computer than what they do on their cell phone. Several of the moms monitor the amount of texts and who their kids text.

Allison does random text checks on her 15 year old son’s phone. Her children got phones at age 12; however, there are several rules in their house. They are not allowed to give out their numbers, use inappropriate language and the phone must be turned off at a certain time each night. 

Lack of sleep due to cell phones can also be an issue. According to an online survey by Teenage Research Unlimited, one in six teens in a relationship communicated 10 or more times an hour through the hours of midnight and 5 a.m. with a boyfriend or girlfriend via cell phone or texting.

For my own family, when the kids reached high school we allowed phones for the same reasons as the others: safety, security and convenience. We did not see a need for a phone in middle school. Now that I have a child away at college, being able to reach her easily eases my mind of worry.

When picking out a phone for the kids, we found it was almost impossible to find a good phone without a camera and all the extras. The cell phone companies sure know how to market to our kids. Also, most of the plans make it very easy to have unlimited texting.

The bottom line is that cell phones are here to stay and the best thing parents can do is educate themselves on them. Some things to consider when getting a younger child a cell phone:    

  • A pre-paid plan with a limited number of minutes helps keep cost down. Firefly is a prepaid phone popular for younger kids.
  • Parental controls allow you to turn off web access and text messaging. Some phones allow you to limit who your child can call.
  • GPS tracker gives you opportunity to easily find your child.
  • It is important to have a discussion about cell phone issues and dangers: Driving while texting/talking (illegal in Connecticut), cyber bullying, cell phone etiquette and following school rules regarding cell phone use.

Next week’s topic for MomsTalk will be picky eaters.

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