It's Potty Training Time!

Potty training was the one thing I would have paid any amount of money for someone to come in and do for me with my kids. Unfortunately that didn’t happen, but I managed to accomplish it and keep my wits about me.

Potty training can be quite stressful for parents. There are some forces out in society that cause this stress.

One of the “ready” signs is when the child does not like a soiled or wet diaper on their skin, however, the diaper and “pull up” companies make their products so well that a child can feel dry even when it is full. Wearing a “pull up” can actually slow the time it takes to potty train. It can confuse a child because it acts just like a diaper.              

And preschools require a child be potty trained before they can enter their program. Usually preschool age is three so that means the child should be trained by 2 ½. What if they are not ready and you need to register him anyway? I waited until my son was 4 to put him in preschool for that very reason. 

What is the right age for potty training anyway? 

Most children are biologically ready by age 2 ½ but they may not be psychologically ready. Every child is different and has his or her own potty training clock. 

The best advice I found is to watch for signs of readiness and then begin. Avoid power struggles because you will always lose. 

The signs of readiness are:

• Urinates or has bowel movements at more predictable times
• Is aware and can communicate the need to urinate or have a bowel movement
• Dislikes wet or soiled diapers
• Has motor skills that include being able to walk, sit, pull down pants, etc.
• Can understand and follow directions
• Has an interest in being toilet trained 

Even with these signs, a child may still not be quite ready. A child is not ready if he or she resists the potty in any way. Most of the experts agree that a child must be mature enough to understand the need to urinate or have a bowel movement and to be able to control when and how it will occur. 

Once your child seems ready and you’ve introduced the potty, now what? The advice from experts varies. 

Some suggest having the child sit on the potty fully clothed at first, talk about the potty and how it is used. Perhaps read a book while the child sits on the potty. After doing that a few times, let the child run around bare-bottomed and if he or she feels the need they can “go” in the potty. 

Try not to show anger or frustration or punish. 

Other experts advise to tell the child they are expected to use the potty now and let them run bare bottomed. Most children do not like fluids running down their legs so after a few accidents they will learn. This method does not work so well in a house with wall to wall carpeting!  

Still another expert says a parent needs to condition a child to use the potty. Chart the child’s bowel movements for a few days and then try to catch a bowel movement by getting the child to the potty in time. Eventually the child will learn the connection between urine or a stool and the potty. 

Some parents use rewards to encourage using the potty. Others resort to videos or books about using the potty. I showed my kids a video called “It’s Potty Time” and it plays a song called “She’s a Super Duper Pooper!”

Sometimes parents have to try all the methods until one works. 

Do boys really take longer? 

The answer seems to be yes but they don’t really know why. That was the case in my family as well. The girls seemed more interested earlier. One reason experts say is that boys have a two step process. They first need to learn to go sitting down and then standing up. 

Toilet training requires patience, support, understanding and encouragement from parents. The bottom line is when a child is ready it will happen. Pushing it to happen before the time is right will bring about stress and frustration. 

Local mom Becky has twin 18 month old girls. One has shown signs of interest while the other has not. She’s decided to get them both a potty and let the interested twin begin and see if the other will follow. “The whole situation is daunting,” says Becky, “but we will get there.” 

Once a child is successful you should not make a big deal out of it no matter how much you want to jump up and down with joy. Simply treat it calmly. Point out that he or she went to the bathroom just like mommy or daddy. 

Some other pointers from experts and parents:

• Try putting the potty on the floor where your child watches television.
• Play up the “coolness” of big-boy or big-girl underpants.
• Do not rush the process.
• Have a spare potty in the car in case of emergencies.
• If training on an adult toilet, give him a foot stool for support. This will make him feel more secure and eliminate fears of falling into the toilet.
• Try to keep a sense of humor and don’t stress. This too shall pass!

I can agree with the last pointer. Looking back I still think teaching them to drive a car was better than potty training!