Community Corner
How Do You Talk To Your Kids About Drugs And Alcohol?
Moms were asked how they handled the topic of drugs and alcohol with their kids.
A national study recently released results and confirms that teen drug and alcohol use are heading in the wrong direction. After a decade of declining numbers with teen drug and alcohol use, it is now on the rise.
The majority of teens surveyed in this study report they had their first alcohol drink by age 15. In Ellington, that age is 14.
This creates a heavy burden for parents. Our moms were asked how they talk to their children about drugs and alcohol. Talking a lot and starting young seems to be the underlying theme. Talking is only a piece of it, however, and it appears that involvement in the children’s lives and setting a foundation for them is also important.
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Nikki can’t believe there may actually be parents out there who don’t talk to their kids about drugs and alcohol. It’s all part of a conversation in her house that started at a very early age with her kids.
“Drugs are a no-no,” she said. “Not only are they dangerous and deadly, but it is a selfish behavior that inflicts pain and hardship on those you love.”
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Drinking is a bit more challenging. Nikki feels it is a lot of responsibility to drink responsibly.
“Life changing decisions have been made while people were under the influence,” she said.
Nikki also stresses to her kids that it is important to know who your friends are and what that can do.
“Not only do my kids need to understand their own maturity level, but they have to know and trust the people they are with - a drunk friend can become violent, unstable or just get you into a ton of trouble.”
Donna is very honest with her children about drugs and alcohol. She gives them the talk about it but goes further to tell them that if they are caught doing drugs and alcohol, life as they know it will change.
“If they break that trust, then I will be a very big part of their daily comings and goings.”
She always uses incidents in the news as an opportunity to talk more to them about what happened and why.
“You just keep talking and hopefully they will listen to some of it because no parent ever wants to get that call in the middle of the night.”
Allison says it is part of their casual conversation and they try to set the example for their children.
“Whenever we are having friends over and there is drinking, we talk about moderation,” she said. “We’ve been talking about drinking since they were little.”
Allison’s cousin died of a drug and alcohol overdose in his 30’s so this is a sensitive subject in their family. Alcoholism also runs in their families so Allison is careful to explain to her kids that it is not a medication and doesn’t make problems go away.
“We discuss the real way to deal with problems in life, and for us it is our faith.”
Next year they will have a driver so she plans to kick up the drinking and driving conversations. Whenever there is an accident involving drinking with teens involved, Allison makes the kids read it or watch it and they discuss the devastation that is causes.
Kathy says in her house there is an open conversation about drugs and alcohol and it has been like that for as long as she can remember. She feels being a teen is pretty tough and realizes the teens today are more stressed than we ever were.
“There’s so much pressure on them and I want them to know we’ll be supportive no matter what,” she said.
She also believes it is never too early to start the conversation. Kathy too has alcoholism in the family which makes them more sensitive.
Teresa has been talking to her kids since they were in first grade. Alcoholism runs in her family too so the talk is continuous.
Amy’s children are still small so the talking has not started but she is already thinking about how she will begin and she is worried for them.
“I know that I will be bringing it up a lot because it scares me that it’s so easy to get,” she said.
Parents still have more influence over their children than friends, music, TV, the internet and celebrities. In addition, kids who learn a lot about the risks of drugs and alcohol from their parents are up to 50 percent less likely to use them than those who don’t.
So what can parents do to influence their children away from drugs and alcohol?
Talking and LISTENING on a regular basis is very important according to experts. This needs to start when they are small and continue even more so as they become pre-teens and teens. Being directly involved in their everyday world is crucial as well. Don’t assume they know you are against them doing drugs and alcohol. Make it clear that you do not want them drinking or using drugs - and say it a lot. Set limits for them and stick to them.
Here is a breakdown about talking to your kids about drugs and alcohol by age:
- Preschool to age 7 – This age is a good time to discuss the dangers of over the counter medications in your house or prescription drugs. Children are very attentive at this age and finding teachable moments in billboards and ads can be helpful to building your foundation of communication.
- Ages 8 to 12 – It’s important to keep communication lines open. Asking non judgmental questions about their thoughts on drug and alcohol use can open up discussions.
- Ages 13 to 17 – No doubt your child will know someone who drinks by this age. Getting their thoughts and feelings on the subject is important as well as making sure they are aware of legal consequences of their actions. Not only are there legal consequences but civil liability to the parents as well as impacting future college and scholarship opportunities.
It’s important to know your child’s friends AND their parents. Be involved in your children’s lives. There are parents who feel allowing teens to drink in their homes is safer. Most times the other teens’ parents are unaware this is taking place. Not only is this illegal, it is irresponsible.
Laying good groundwork when children are young helps them when they become teens. Just as we immunize our kids against illnesses, we must also immunize them against the pressures they will face. If kids are not comfortable talking to their parents, they will seek their answers somewhere else.
Here are some informative web sites regarding kids and drugs/alcohol:
